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Friday, November 23, 2012

I'm the girl...

So I found this quote on Pinterest. Please take time and read it, I'll wait. Seriously my blog won't make sense if you don't read it, so read it.
Ok, done? Good, what were your reactions? Anyone else find this girl obnoxious? Maybe it's just me, and I'm easily annoyed by girls who I find...hmm what's a good word...uhm let's say girls that I find "silly" (I had other words in mind but I like keeping my blog as "Disney" friendly as possible). I mean I totally get that she's trying to make herself sound all low maintenance and that she's not a drunkard but really when I read this all I thought was a) you have faults too and he'll find them out eventually. B) you just sound really desperate <insert you'd do anything to make him smile, like give the world...hello not trying to pull a Dwight Schrute but offering the world is not something you can feasibly do, try again) and c) you're taking subservient to a whole other level, and possibly I think you might be a cat lady (too judgmental?).

Sorry I'm not trying to pick on this imaginary quote girl, but I think it's so easy to act elitist when you're on the other side (i.e. not in a relationship). It's easy to think you would be the perfect girlfriend as if you are some hybrid woman who doesn't have faults. We're all human and you may not like to go out and drink and puke your brains out the next morning, but you might also be a hoarder of baby dolls which in my book is also quite disturbing (random example I know...but I just watched a documentary about grown women obsessed with dolls...the images I witnessed are still plaguing my mind).

Anyways, if you've read my blog before (and since I'm guessing this is either my mom or one of the Newmans reading you have) then you know that I pull inspiration for my blogs from all kinds of places. So I thought I would make my own rendition of this asinine quote (asinine is not a swear it?) and yes I'm mocking imaginary quote girl just a little bit.  But here is a very honest portrayal of what kind of girl I am (and potentially what kind of girlfriend I would be). And yes my version is much longer (again if you've read my blog, you already expected that) and I apologize in advance. Here goes...

 IQG: "I'm the girl who prefers one rose instead of a dozen"

Me : I'm the girl who hate's roses...ok I don't hate them. And if you send them to me I'll be super grateful, but if I have a say in the matter I would rather have a bouquet of carnations or daisy's over roses any day. But I think girls just likes getting flowers in general, except for that rare breed who thinks they are a waste of money (I think these women have spent too much time around cheap men, that's just my opinion). But besides them, I think most girls swoon (including myself) over the idea of receiving flowers. So regardless of the amount or kind, getting flowers is considered to be a very thoughtful gesture, at least by this girl. But if a guy wanted to get really crazy and get my favorite kind of flower, that would be a peony (just saying). 

 IQG: "I'm the girl who would rather stay in on a Friday night, than go to a wild party with random strangers"

Me: I'm the girl that actually would rather stay in on a Friday night, than go to some wild party with random strangers. But really I don't care if it's a Monday afternoon or we're going to a Broadway matinee, I really don't want to go anywhere with random strangers. I don't know maybe it was all my mom's lesson's on stranger danger, but I don't typically go places, regardless of the time of day, with people I don't know. 

IQG: "I'm the girl who wouldn't make you wait on her hand and foot"

I'm also not the girl who would make you wait on me hand and foot...unless I'm extremely sick or I've broken both my legs or possibly just one leg, or even just a foot. Seeing as I've never broken a bone (praise God), I'm sure I would find it very traumatic, and might need some basic assistance. And if I happen to find myself to be ill (which again is unlikely, I have a very good immune system but in the off chance) help a girl out. I mean hello I'm not expecting you to hold my hair and rub my back while I throw up or anything (because honestly I wouldn't do it for you, sorry throw up is icky) but at least get a girl a hair tie and a glass of water  to wash her mouth out with. But when my body is in perfect order, I don't expect anyone to wait on me hand and foot. Is it nice to have someone do stuff for me, like offer to take out the trash or put the next DVD in, yes. But I believe those kind gestures need to go both ways. I bring you a sandwich, you fill up my car with gas (I hate gas stations), sounds like a fair deal to me.

IQG: "But would do anything to make you happy"

Me: I'm the girl who likes to be happy, and I like those around me to be happy as well. But I've been known to upset people a time or two. And I can promise that at sometime I will upset you too (shocking I know). Maybe with my inability to put laundry away or my lack of checking my voice-mail, or just my voice-mail in general (I don't know why but my voice-mail has upset a few people in the past). Maybe it will be my incessant need to share facts during movies that are based off of books (I still don't get how people who haven't read Hunger Games, understand the movie...seriously they left so much out). But let's just be honest, somewhere down the road, I'm going to do something that makes you not so happy. And on the flip side, there are a lot of things I wouldn't do just to make someone happy. I'm not going to list all of them but a big one is (mom shut your eyes) I won't have sex with someone before we're married (I can't believe I just said sex on my blog...that definitely makes this blog no longer Disney friendly). Now I wouldn't know from experience but from what I've heard, that one act tends to make people pretty happy. I guess what I'm saying is happiness is not everything. Being unhappy is not the end of the world, and truthfully if you're unhappy before me, you'll be unhappy with me. Of course I don't want to be with someone who makes me miserable and vice versa, but seriously your happiness can't be based on me.

Well these are getting rather long, so I'll make the next few short (well I don't know about short but shorter).

IQG: "I'm the girl who would enjoy a movie night rather than going to some fancy restaurant"

Me: I'm the girl who does love a good movie night...but I also love delicious food. It doesn't have to be  fancy, but I do love a nice night out to a restaurant or food truck (I find those to be so much fun), whatever as long as the food is tasty. So hopefully watching movies and going out to eat isn't asking too much.

IQG: "I'm the girl who would rather stay up all night sharing secrets than going out and getting drunk"

I am not the girl who will stay up all night sharing secrets. I love getting to know people, I love secret sharing but I  prefer to do that during non-sleeping hours. Hello I'm no longer a college kid. I have an adult job now and I require 8-9 hours asleep a night, or I have malfunctions <insert I'm irritable the next day>. I'm the girl who fully appreciates a good nights rest. So if I choose to not share secrets all night it's not because I'm out getting wasted. Actually I'm probably home in my bed passed out with my sound machine on.

IQG: "I'm the girl who won't make you hold her bags"

Me: I'm a girl who likes boys. So I'm not looking for a future shopping partner in a boyfriend/potential husband. That's why God gave me a mother, sisters, and best friends. If you like to shop ok, come along (that is not a requirement though). So I won't drag you along just to carry my bags, but if you're there I may put you to work.

IQG: "But would rather hold your hand"

I'm the girl who would like to hold your hand whether we are shopping or not.

IQG: "I'm the girl who will love you more than anyone can possibly dream of. I'm the girl who would give the world to see you smile."

Me: I'm the girl who doesn't even know where to begin with that kind of statement. That's a lofty set of terms this girl has laid out. I feel like the first clause is reminiscent of Pedro's speech from Napoleon Dynamite. And the second part just seems like a way over exaggeration as to how far you'd go to make someone smile. I may give you a high five or bake you a special treat to see you smile, but give you the world...well since it's not really in my possession to give, I'd have to say no I wouldn't. Seriously though of course you love the person you are with and you want to make them smile but these little cutesy phrases are just too cheesy for me to take seriously.

And for fun here are a few more things that I happen to be...

I'm the girl that if left to my own devices in Target I will spend my entire paycheck there.
I'm the girl that will gladly cook all the time, but on occasion I might burn something .
I'm the girl who will eat a whole row of Toblerone and not share a single triangle.
I'm the girl who will procrastinate to the last minute and have a minor freak out when I do so...I apologize in advance.
I'm the girl who may shush you during an episode of Downton Abbey, but I promise to be quiet during your favorite program.
I'm the girl that will read a book if you recommend it to me...even if it's not my usual taste.
I'm the girl who will only date someone if they already have a relationship with Jesus Christ. No missionary dating for this girl.

So that's enough about me, and enough of me mocking this poor imaginary quote girl. I'm sorry if you like this girl or it happens to be you, don't be too offended. I hope all the rest of you enjoyed this blog. Thanks for stopping by.


  1. awesome! you have excellent taste in flowers...peonies are my favorite too :)

    1. Thanks! I don't know why I'm still surprised when we have things in common. You'd think by now I'd be like duh of course we like the same thing.